I Always Knew
by LillyOfTheValley
Summary: How the stubborn werewolf and the clumsy witch finally came together. ONE SHOT


Author's Note: Just a little something that came to me. Perhaps my first attempt at a cannon story. Enjoy

Dislcaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters

A small witch with vivid pink hair paced a room the color of sunflowers, a wailing baby on her hip. She set the little guy in his crib and ran a frustrated hand through the bubblegum pink spikes, causing the hair to stick out madly.

"Sweetheart, please stop crying, Mummie's sorry she knocked over dinner and made the loud noise. You've got to stop crying love please," she pleaded.

Two hours before in one of her more spectacularly clumsy moments Tonks had managed to topple the entire dining room table. Sirius in his highchair had been unscathed by the incident, but at the great crash his little eyes had gone wider than saucers then his face had scrunched and he'd let out an ear piercing cry. His harried mother had been unable to calm him and she was beginning to feel as if she may lose her mind.

Gathering her wits about her she turned to the crib where Sirius was standing on unsteady legs, chubby hands clutching the rails as he continued to bawl. "Okay sweetheart, let's try this." With a little more concentration than it normally took, her nose turned into a pig's snout. The baby's cries calmed a bit and she pushed on. She transformed herself over and over again, beak-like nose, emerald green hair, wild curls, button nose. Slowly the baby's cries stopped all together and he began to giggle, clapping his hands delightedly. Thankful she had succeeded at last Tonks gathered her son in her arms, kissing him delightedly. Her hair and features returned to as normal as they got as she rocked him gently. "Now I've got you calmed down, let's see if I can get you to bed." She settled down in the nursery's squashy arm chair and thought back. "Let's hear about how daddy and I finally found each other…"

Talking mindlessly to soothe him into sleep, she told her infant son of the heartache that had been the start of her relationship with Remus Lupin…

Tonks sat in the hospital wing for a moment after Harry and Professor McGonagall left, feeling what little composure she had left begin to crumble. She quickly stood and turned to Molly Weasley.

"I'll be going then Molly," she said with a watery smile. "I'll be around of course."

"You don't have to go Tonks," Hermione said gently.

She smiled at the younger girl. "I need to; I'll be seeing you all." With that as her final word she walked from the room looking incredibly downhearted.

As he watched her go Remus Lupin could feel several sets of disapproving eyes on him. He looked slowly around and saw Hermione, Molly, Fleur and Ginny all regarding him with narrowed eyes. Feeling stupid for being shamed by the glares of a woman he thought of as his sister and three young witches he stared determinedly at the floor.

Before she could leave the grounds and apparate back to her flat Tonks was caught by Professor McGonagall.

"Nymphadora," the older woman said gently. "I wish for you to stay close to the school, perhaps in Hogsmeade. With Dumbledore… with Dumbledore gone the danger to the school is greater than ever." Minerva hid the quaver in her voice admirably. "I'd like as much of the Order close by until after…" She trailed off.

Tonks nodded. "I'll see if I can get a room Minerva."

Feeling more downhearted than ever the currently mousy looking witch went to seek out a room somewhere in Hogsmeade. Hours later she had managed to secure a room in the village and had apparated to her flat to grab what belongings she would need. When she ventured out of the tiny room late the next day she felt an invisible fist squeezing her heart as Remus Lupin entered a room a few doors down without seeing her. Shaking her mousy brown hair from her face she changed her mind about dinner and turned back to her room, tears stinging her eyes.

At one that morning Tonks still hadn't managed to find sleep. The events of the past few days had been looping around in her head constantly and she couldn't seem to shut her brain off. And suddenly she was angry, angrier than she thought she had ever been. Gone was the morose unhappy woman of the past year; in her place was a woman possessed by fury. She climbed out of the bed, threw her door open and strode down the hall where she pounded on Lupin's door relentlessly. The door was opened to reveal a cautious Remus, wand at the ready.

"Nymphadora, what the blazes are you doing up at this hour?" He asked, dropping his wand.

She felt a twinge in her heart at the site of his pale, gaunt face but determinedly pushed it back. "I'm fuming," she spat out. She pushed past him into the room and turned back around, arms crossed. "You coming in or are you just going to stand there all bloody night?"

Remus snapped the door shut and turned to face her. "We're not rehashing this again," he said calmly. "You deserve better than me."

She threw her hands up in the air. "There you go, telling me what I deserve. Why can't I make you understand that what I need is you?"

He snorted derisively. "I'm the last thing you need Tonks. I'm barely half a man, less when I make the change. I'm not safe for someone like you."

"What do you mean someone like me? You mean someone young and stupid, someone who can't take care of herself? Is that what you mean?" She poked him hard in the chest. "I'll have you know that even though I may be a disaster when it comes to grace and dignity, I'm far from stupid. I can also take care of myself; I'd think my job would have proved that by now."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"I never know what you mean anymore. You make absolutely no sense to me."

He shook his head. "It's better that I don't, better that you don't know the full extent of what I am. I said it earlier and I'll say it again, you deserve someone young and whole, someone who can give you what you deserve."

"I know what you are, I know who you are, I know everything I need to know about you. I don't want someone else, I want YOU, I love YOU." She fisted her hands in his shirt much as she had done with his robes not too long before. "You can't look at me and tell me that you don't feel anything."

He shook his head and looked down into her eyes. "No, no I can't deny that I feel something for you, something big, but nothing can ever come of it Tonks. I'm not the man for you"

She pushed away from him, hot tears falling from her eyes. "If you tell me that one more time I'm going to scream!"

The tears threw him for a loop after all of the raging. "Please understand. I could never make you happy."

"If you couldn't make me happy then why am I so miserable without you?"

"It's been a hard time; it's only understandable you'd be unhappy."

She glared up at him. "You're not stupid Remus, don't pretend to be."

"I'm old Tonks, old enough to know what I'm talking about."

"You aren't old! And even if you were do you honestly think I would care? It wouldn't matter to me if you were seventy-five as long as I could be with you!"

He shook his head. "I only want what's best for you."

"You're what's best for me." She closed the gap between them, leaving barely a breath of space between their bodies. "We could die tomorrow, this could be the only chance we get and you're going to deny us both our happiness? Minerva is right, Dumbledore would have been happy to know their was a little more love in the world." She brought her hands to his chest, pressing one against the strong beat of his heart, the other mirroring. "I love you. Look at me now and tell me you don't love me too."

"Tonks…"

"No. If you look at me now and tell me you don't love me I'll walk away."

He took a shaky breath and covered her hands with his own. "You know I can't."

"Then why?" Her eyes were wide as they looked up into his.

"It isn't right, tying you to a man like me."

Ignoring the self-demeaning comment she shook her head. "It is right." She turned her hands and entwined their fingers, holding their clasped hands against her heart. "Tell me this doesn't fit." She closed the distance between them, pressing her body the length of his. "Tell me we don't feel right."

"It isn't fair to you," he said quietly, and she could sense his reasoning crumbling.

"What wouldn't be fair would be walking away from this, from us." She pulled her hands from his and wrapped them around his neck. She sunk her hands into his graying brown hair and gazed intently into his eyes. "We were meant for each other."

"I…." He trailed off.

"Tell me what you feel Remus," she whispered in anticipation.

He gazed down at her with a sudden wonder in his eyes. "I love you. Merlin help us both but I do."

This time the tears that sprang to her eyes were pure joy. She pulled him down to her and they kissed passionately, desperately. His arms circled her waist and he pulled her as close as he possibly could. When they pulled apart she laughed happily. "I knew, I always knew."

He brushed a tear from her cheek and smiled. "Deep down I think I always knew it too."

Back in the present now, Tonks smiled at the memory of that night. She looked down at her son slumbering in her arms and though she didn't speak out loud her mind traveled back to that night.

They kissed again, languidly this time, a slow burn. When they pulled apart Lupin buried his hands in her hair and when he showed her the bright pink strands their surprised laughter rang out in the tiny inn for everyone to hear.

Tonks was shaken again from happy memories as she heard the front door shut. A goofy smile passed her face as she kissed Sirius and laid him gently in his crib. She turned on the little light machine, flipped off the light and shut the door quietly behind her. The dignified and sexy welcome she had planned for her husband quickly went up in flames as she tripped over one of Sirius's toys and stumbled into his back. Remus laughed as she hit him and turned to gather her in his arms.

"Hello darling," he said smoothly as he kissed her soundly.

"Wotcher love," she said, falling back on her gold standard greeting.

Remus held her away from him a bit, looking her up and down. "You look like you've had a run in with an electric eel," he said with a smile. "Rough night?"

She smiled up into his gently lined face. "You might say that. I take it you haven't seen the kitchen?"

He looked at her curiously. "No."

"You may as well go in there, I haven't had the chance to clean it up," she said with a sigh.

He strode into the kitchen and before long she heard his mirthful laughter as he came back to her. "Oh love, how do you do these things? What happened?" They took a seat on the couch and she told him the whole story. "How did you get him to sleep after all that excitement?" Remus asked.

She smiled. "I told him the story of that night right after that scene in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts."

"I've always loved that story myself."

"So have I, even if it does remind me of how pigheaded you were for so long," she said with a mischevious smile.

He took her in his arms and kissed her again. "You're right. Come on, I want to look in on him." They strolled hand in hand to the nursery and entered quietly. Watching the lights play over their son's face Tonks thought back again. From that moment in the inn on her and Remus had become inseparable. At Dumbledore's funeral they arrived early and sat hand in hand waiting for the children and the others.

She thought of her son and was still amazed. She had been pregnant during the final battle and hadn't known. She'd had no idea until she'd been badly injured and almost lost the baby. She had lain in a bed in their makeshift field hospital terrified while Madame Pomfrey monitored her and Remus fought, not knowing. When he'd at last come to her bruised and worn with the news that Harry had prevailed and Voldemort was dead she had wept in happiness. Knowing that he was okay, that there had been relatively few casualties, and that Harry had won spiraled her into high emotions. She remembered clutching his hands and telling him what she had learned only hours before and saw him again in her mind's eye, eyes tearing.

When Madame Pomfrey had given them the news that she and the baby would be okay they had held each other and alternated between laughter and tears. The others had insisted on throwing them a celebration and it was there that Harry had proposed to Ginny. It had been a happy day for all of them.

She came back to herself again and turned to see Remus watching her with serious eyes. "Are you okay love?"

"I'm fabulous. I was thinking about Sirius," she said, brushing a finger lightly down their son's cheek. "I was thinking about how we found out he was coming, how scared I was and how happy we were when we found out he was going to be fine. And I was thinking about Harry and Ginny."

He smiled at her. "That was an amazing time wasn't it? And it gave so many so much." They remained there for a moment longer before he tugged on her hand gently. "Let's go to bed love."


End file.
